Buddha says there is no way to happiness, (instead) happiness is the way. or as is said happiness is a state of mind.
People have called me thick-skinned, ghunna (shrewdly silent) and what not for the simple reason that i try to practice the happiness-is-the-way principle.
Pass on the praises. this is a very kool, easy to implement thing. If Ram praises Shyam (i will use these two names in a generic way, it can be you, me or anybody) on his back in front of you, do pass it on to Shyam, as and when you get an opportunity. The sooner the better. This makes Shyam happy because he will get a genuine compliment. This makes Ram happy, when Shyam shares his feelings and thanks him later. This makes you happy-you made two people happy, and you get recognised as a person who passes on the praises. I have used this to the max, and always felt good about it. In almost all the cases, Shyam/… accepts the compliments with grace and adds on his views on the same. That means he has liked it.
e.g. i told Shaym.. that Ram.. told about you that you don’t do personal jobs for your boss. Shyam responded by saying ” Ya, i always keep a distinction about personal and official roles.” See, what i meant by making people happy.
so join the gang and pass it on.
Laugh at yourself
Not easy? then u need it more. Just as they say people who don’t have time to rest, need it the most, or something like that. As far as I m concerned, god has gifted me with enough endowments to help me laf at myself. 100-kg is one. i mean i m almost there, 1-2 kg here or there, and with a medium height, u can roll (literally!) with lafter. then i have made umpteen number of mistakes in my life. I also try to learn from my mistakes (so as not to repeat the same mistakes in the same manner, but a new one) but after lafing my heart out. Well, one reason is that u get to save urself from the embarassment that follows after a goof-up. So make things easier for you n others by lafing at urself. I often see people remembering blunders after 2-3 years and enjoying. But the real fun would be, if just after the goof-ups, one takes it lightly, instead of sulking and cribbing.
Now after this short n sweet sermon, you have the liberty to laf at me, but promise me that u will laf at urself too when chance comes.
think over what makes you happy
One ‘The Speaking Tree’ in TOI speaks of a phrase Make-your-own-sunshine (MYOS). How true. Each of us has his unique likes and dislikes. I am one of those rare persons who don’t like the taste of kaju-barfi, i don’t know why, but i don’t. There have been instances where my friend described a third peron as the epitome of beauty, but when i saw her she was everything but that. I am not saying my friend is wrong, or i am right, each has his own way of looking at things. So is the case of what-makes-us-happy. I love sleeping and reading books. So if i am not happy, best cure would be to read a novel and go to sleep while reading. some people find solace in music, exercise, walking, shopping, eating and so on. But we seriously need to think and find what makes us happy and blissful. Because we need to make our own sunshine, as the article says. Initially it might not be easy to pin-point but after a few hit and trials, the realisation will dawn. Problem is once we get into a depressing mood, we sink and sink, don’t try to come out of it. Like a spider, we keep on making a web, and literally make a small problem seem like the end of the world. So, think and act. Make your own sunshine.