Relation velation


Last week attended a marriage of a cousin’s daughter.

It all started with a discussion on whether we should go or not. Parents advised us not to, though cousin being from mother’s side, mom was okay if we went. I took a high pedestal and bragged to wify that we will go because the cousin is not well-off, and it’s a girl’s marriage, we should go. Wify snubbed me for the superiority complex and asked to be realistic. If we will go, we will go, don’t talk in terms of poor or rich, it’s all relative.

So we went. It was a working day with ceremony in a distant town, and we wanted to be in time. So we took leave from our office and drove to the place. While on the way, mom called and said no one has gone and we should go straight to the engagement in the afternoon. Bro also called. We were shocked as mom and bro live in same town. Still no one went and they wanted us to go. We talked over phone what do we give. Father advised that we should all pool the monies and give as family and not separately. I somehow don’t understand this funda, but out of respect to father I normally agree. So we wanted to give 500 each to bride and groom, alongwith a gift during engagement. Father said no give only 100 each, and no gift. He gave the argument that there are many marriages in the family, so we should restrain ourselves. We did not like it but we ag reed. The time was 11 am, we reached at 12-30 still the function had not started.  We met all relatives. And we gave 100 to groom and gift to bride. That was our midway solution. Strangely two-three of our relatives gave us lectures on adopting child. The host family never bothered about us earlier, but they started complaining why we did not come earlier and all that.

In the evening a cousin met and started asking obvious question. Which car you drive, what is your designation, your house is rented and all that. I hate it when relatives start asking these mean questions.  Aniways we met many more relatives and exchanged usual questions. Our effort of specially coming out and attending marriage was worth it since we could meet so many relatives.

We were discussing how friendships and relations are gradually becoming weaker, because we do not take the trouble to go to such occasions and revive the memories. BTW wify was right and the host family had really made excellent decoration and food arrangements, which we did not expect. So I stand corrected and agree that richness is relative.

Though somehow I felt awkward as I had expected better welcome and reception from the host, which was ofcourse wrong of me. I did think of myself special, which I am not. They were instead giving more time to their maternal relatives who had helped in making arrangements for marriage, which was justified. But human nature being human nature, knowing very well that I was wrong in expecting anything else, I kept thinking in that direction.

Father who was not in mood of going at all, went because we were going. Brother who also was in two minds did come to attend the ceremonies. So our going did help in this way also.

Relations need maintenance, as do friendships.

Don’t you think so?


About my2twobits

I am a 40+ male PR executive from India. I have deliberately kept my identity hidden so that I can freely, frankly open my heart and share my feelings about people I know from work and outside. Hope you enjoy the resulting emotional free-flow in my posts. I do fear and dread the day when my identity is disclosed and I may be forced to totally delete this blog, unless of course a publisher comes with an interesting offer ;)

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