Dick, my boss is really bringing out the worst in me. The more I try to become emotionally strong, the more he challenges my mind and thoughts. I have shared in my earlier posts, how he badmouthed me a lot and spoke all kind of bullshit to my juniors, seniors and other people. I confronted him one fine day and clearly he denied doing any of this, but said he wanted me to be more open with him. So I tried to change myself, as there was no point in me working my ass off all day and then he screwing up my career for no reason. Secondly, I took it as a challenge to improve relations with him since in the past I had good relations with all my bosses and I though of myself as good in interpersonal relations.
Last 1-2 months were okay. But since last week he has again started throwing tantrums. He does not respond properly to my hellos. He assigns jobs directly to juniors and throws me out of the loop. He always says that he needs to learn things because he is new to our department. He wants us to send all mails in his name, which we do also. He wants to create an impression in office that he does everything. Well, I don’t mind but then he should start taking initiative. He comes to our department for 1-2 hours a day, rest of the time he says he is busy in his other department. He wants us to hold files for him, keep him in loop, take his permission. I do to the extent possible. There is one role of corporate gifting, which he could have taken care of himself but he dragged me in. On one hand he says, he wants to do things independently and on the other he drags me in jobs which he can do very well. He can’t have it both ways. For jobs requiring time commitments, or lot of coordination, lot of writing, I don’t think he can manage well, so I take charge fully. He minds that and butts in to take the credit.
Lately I am getting confused. I wanted to work on our relationship. But somewhere I am losing my self-respect, and it’s not ego, just dignity. I adjust to improve relations so that he does not spoil my career but he is taking me for granted. I can not have an intelligent argument with him since he is very rigid. I can not joke with him since he does not get jokes. So I end up saying yes to everything he says, which looks like sucking up. I am confused how to change this scenario into a healthy, positive one.
And yes, I need to stop criticizing him in front of others, as it reaches him ultimately.
- My boss and me (my2twobits.wordpress.com)