Denial can be very funny and disturbing when you see it in other person. Of course denial in ourself is never easy thing to accept.

I am witnessing denial in a person, an ex-boss to be precise and it is very irritating. Whenever you speak to him, he will always project himself as holier than thou, and the most simple person on earth. The reality is he is very scheming and complex personality. His present job profile is such that he has to do some jobs which he used to do as our boss. Now that always results in obvious conflict with our present boss. They are most of the time at loggerheads. Present boss is well-mannered and rarely wears his emotions on sleeves. But the ex-boss does. Specially when ex-boss is with me, he keeps criticising present boss and ends every sentence with- Have I ever done anything bad to him? And what can I say but yes sir.

Ex-boss in reality never misses a chance to earn brownie points with CEO, and takes every opportunity to show present boss in bad light. Always keeps comparing his tenure and downgrades present team, which also includes me. Only I know, how I swallow all this. I just keep mum. The ex has this capability to tear apart the present boss and his work, and also claim his innocence in one sentence. He is the height of hypocrisy.

The ex had to go out from the department under unpleasant circumstances beyond his control. But he kept on blaming me and other people for his ouster. Now when mistakes during his time are noticed, he unabashedly puts the blame on me and other juniors. At the smallest of reasons, he starts shouting at me and abusing the whole department, how it has gone to dumps, how it was the best of times when he was heading it and all that. He is the perfect example of a manager in denial. On one occasion he said- When people needed promotions, awards, favours, they came to me, and now all ungrateful bastards are useless. I felt like shouting at him and telling him go f yourself. But I respect age, and he did a lot for me, though for his own selfish interests. He needed me as his sounding box, as his confidant and as his man friday and also for writing his speeches, articles and letters. So he squeezed me full and threw me some bones, which I did not ask for. And now he has the face to say he did it all without any self-interest. As if I don;t understand his shenanigans. He can be in a state of denial himself, but I can see through most of his game-plans.

Such people treat other people as tools and toys, to be used and discarded.


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