Confidant

Standard

I used to call myself dustbin in my previous job and same is happening to me now also. Basically I am lucky and privileged enough that many peers trust me enough to share their personal feelings and experiences with me. Dustbin was a modest way of putting it. But really it is scary.

Happy is doing that a lot often these days and with marvellous ease and nonchalantly. Now just in case the anonymity of this blog is lost, I would just say she shared her previous relations and also the story of her transfer to Delhi, along with other may things. She was perfectly at ease and very nonchalant. I was perplexed and felt honoured that this cynosure of many, trusted me enough to share her deep feelings. So did another colleague who shared how her newly married relation has been tumultuous but she is managing it somehow. Maybe I also show my vulnerability to them that is why they do so. I can list many such female and male colleagues who treat me as confidant.

Even my ex-boss who has treated me, like he did others, a tool, also uses me as a sounding box. He shares a lot of very important and secret details with me. And often says I treat you like my younger brother. Now there seems to be a contrast. Brother and manipulation. But then I thought today that maybe this boss would have treated me like that even if I was his real brother. Another problem being the confidant of ex-boss is that he shares details related to my job but wants me to keep secret from my boss. Which is very difficult for me specially when boss asks pointedly, as I can’t lie easily. So I told ex-boss that he should avoid sharing details with me or do only on need-to-know basis. He did not like it but is doing so now. Having me as a confidant also appears to give him the impression that he can boss around me, even at the risk of me losing the trust of present boss. I refused this also saying I have my limits. This again he did not like, but I do have my limits. I respect him but such is life, it has to go on.

I was privy to the love affair of a cousin as were her real bros and sis long back. But my uncle blamed me for hiding this from him being the eldermost. So that was the downside of it.

But it is a strange, funny, pleasant, honourable and risky feeling being the confidant of so many.

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