Today started off on a bad note. A media release which we issued yesterday at 5-30 pm did not get enough media coverage in newspapers. Boss called and said in a harsh tone, why we did not get enough coverage. He is normally very polite and soft. But I did not like the blaming part of what she said. As if I am the only one responsible for not getting it. There is one senior in between who writes in his appraisal that he is doing media management, but he does not do anything. No one says anything to him. It’s almost like a free gift to him, the job specification. Then I tried 2-3 times earlier that if it is not a time-bound release, we should issue next day, if we are not in a position to release say by 2-3 pm. But each time my idea was shot down. So this time I did not say anything.
Earlier also this happened with him. Whenever I used to call him on weekends to tell some important thing. He was always dismissive and curt. He did not like being disturbed on a weekend. So one time when there was something which could wait till Monday, I did not call him. And lo, on Monday he asks angrily why did you not tell me on Saturday. Screwed either way.
Then today only an ex-boss calls and starts shouting, why you did not do the personal job I gave you last week. See his dare, he is shouting at me for not doing his personal work, which is not urgent. I was boiling with anger but did not say anything, because this boss has done a lot for my image and recognition. However this does not mean he will keep taking me granted the whole life. Confused what to do.
There is this another person in our company’s controlling secretariat who also shouts a lot at me and I hate going to his office. But all and sundry bow down to him because he has positional power, so I have to keep silent. But I hate this person like anything. Maybe time will turn someday and things will change.
I introspected and found that it is one of my weaknesses that I get emotionally disturbed whenever people in power shout at me, specially for a non-reason. Because I can shout back or snub others, but I have to swallow my pride in front of people in power and can’t say anything. One is that they may misuse their power instantly or sometime later and harm me career-wise which will also disturb my family life. Second reason is that I prefer having cordial relations with all at work, because you have to face them day in and day out. Though there are some peers who are arrogant and keep to themselves. Them I am okay with.
Any ideas on how I can control my upset mood when shouting happens, and I don’t want to shout back and the other person in not in a mindframe to listen to sense. ?