“Ye har kisise itne hi pyaar se baat karta/karti hoga/hogi.” (Hindi line translated -She must be talking to everyone with such enthusiasm and affection) – A mantra dat u need to repeat to urself to save u frm falling for dat person.
This tweet yesterday on my timeline by someone, and an sms sent by my sister-friend in office (I have talked about her in my earlier posts) to me- Good morning Shona (Hindi word, meaning lovely/beautiful and said to a close person/son/beloved) set me thinking on my motive of calling her sister.
I introspected and analysed- Is it really attraction towards her that I am trying to suppress by calling her sister? But I came out with 100 % surety that she is actually like a sister I never had and I feel so from my heart. Reason being that I never ever had any naughty thoughts about her though she looks stunning on some days in Indian and Western dresses alike. Do I have naughty thoughts about other colleagues, well somethings are better left unsaid. Though my benchmark is people my age ;).
So as far as this sister friend is concerned, I had such feelings for her for long. But I never shared that with her, and kept it to myself. Because I thought people don’t like you if you start imposing relations on them. But once I had to ask for advice on marital relations of a mutual friend, and she was seen as one of the thousand reasons for his problems. This was a touchy topic, so to make an environment, I revealed my feelings that I always think of you as a sister. It became easy for me to discuss that matter thereafter, as I could talk openly about how I trusted her and her intentions but problem was at the other end. By the way, I have still not told her that my gut feeling is that our mutual friend compares his wife to her, and in-part that is why he is not happy. A gem of a person like my sister-friend can have everlasting impression on anybody, so this friend is not at fault. But in comparing her to his wife, he may be erring. Not that I know for sure, he is doing that, it is my hunch. And that is why I have not told her also, because this may be right or wrong, but she may feel bad or guilty.
Okay so once my dilemma of telling her about my brotherly feelings was over and I told her, life has been easy. I can share my feelings openly, write notes, make comments, and both of us know where I am coming from. She will never doubt my intentions, and since I am pure at heart and genuinely think of her as a sister, I enjoy this shared trust.
Coming back to the above sms, which was sent to me by mistake, and because of this open trust, I guessed it the moment I received it. But I deleted it, lest wify sees and starts having unnecessary doubts. Yes, wify is a bit awkward with this openness, because of wify’s true love for me and her possessiveness. Though I have told her also that I treat this girl like a sister. But wives are wives.
Well, we had a hearty laugh when I brought this message to girl’s notice and I felt good about the whole incident, how no one is least bothered about the misinterpretations.
One other thing which is happening with this relationship, is I have started praying for a happy future for this girl. I like her happy, cheerful, intelligent, happy-go-lucky and caring attitude, but I always tend to bless her (in my mind of course) that she stays this way even after marriage and the institution does not snatch away her zest for life. Maybe this happens between brother-sister. I won’t know for sure, since I don’t have a real sister.
May you keep growing in all spheres kiddo.