Anger Management

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Anger is good also at times, if used rightly, so I have heard. I know I can’t do it though, as in showing artificial anger, or making anger my second nature.

But we had a CEO, whose USP was anger. You could hear thousand stories about his short temper, his tantrums, his shouting, his angry red face and round eyes and so on. Everyone was afraid to face him. But many people said that he is good at heart, he never keeps any grudges. This was true for his favourite people. But some others had to face the music. His fans treated his anger as his way of training and mentoring them. It kept them on their toes always. Some said he was a perfectionist and a thorough professional who could not tolerate inefficiency. My personal view is that in a public sector enterprise his kind of anger worked wonders. Because people had no other fear, his anger worked like a magic wand and made people work hard. So in my view that CEO used anger to his advantage.

Another style of anger management I saw was in our HOD. One of my team mates made a blunder, and HOD got a long lecture from CEO. So my team mate was apprehending a big blast from HOD after he came out from CEO’s office. But HOD did not say a single word to him and avoided talking much to him for 2-3 days. My colleague was so frustrated with this behaviour that he blurted out to me- HOD should have taken me to task instead of giving me this silent treatment. So this kind of anger expression also works.

There was another HOD, who always used to shout angrily at juniors. Most of my female colleagues and many male colleagues never liked his shouting and still hate him. Nor did it result in improvement in efficiency of anybody. Rather it made them demotivated and resentful. So his was an anger without any control and purpose.

Anger can also take various funny shapes. One colleague was going in car with our boss, and he got a message from a friend- When are you coming to party? My colleague replied- I don’t know when this f..ker will leave me. I can only come after that. Normal, right. But in anger he sent the sms to our boss sitting right beside him, instead of sending it to friend. Boss read it and his fuse got blown. My colleague tried to say some virus and other bullshit. But damage was already done. Another colleague, when he was in an angry mood,  wrote a very nasty mail detailing the bad habits of boss. You got it already. He sent it by mistake to boss himself. There again same drama followed. But in both the cases bosses had to adjust after a few days, because show must go on.

Well as for myself, I try to control my anger and maybe get angry 1-2 times a year in office. But that should be acceptable, no. However one thing I have noticed about angry mood-mine or others, you end up saying things which you have been thinking about some persons or things, which you thought of in silence. That is why I advise my near and dear ones, to avoid thinking negative about people or things, because any day when you are angry and your mind and tongue is not in your control, you will end up blurting out those things and then keep repenting later on.

By the way, I have a quote by Desmond Tutu on my table which helps me keep my anger in check many a times-Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.

 

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